Indestructible
by PoppadomsAndPilauRice
Summary: A different take on Christmas 2019


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'I'm sorry, but the tests I performed earlier showed little to no brain activity'

'You mean, he's brain dead?'

'All I'm saying is...hope for the best, but prepare yourself for the worst, I'm sorry it's not better news...I'll leave you to it...I know it's a lot to take in.

The consultant offered Carla a weak smile as she left the room, a smile which brought no comfort, no hope. She was alone now.

How could this be happening? Only hours before they had been laughing and joking and now...

Carla's mind briefly cast back to last year, to the fleeting panic when she thought he had been shot, the overwhelming relief she'd felt when she'd learnt it was a paint gun, and not a real gun. How she wished that it was the same situation now.

The initial relief she'd felt when she had thought he wasn't badly injured. The fear that had gripped her when she'd been informed he had been one of the victims, paled in insignificance to the sheer dread, panic, and terror, which now coursed through her entire being.

'Go home, get some sleep' they had told her. But she wasn't going anywhere, not without him.

She let a gut wrenching sob escape, the sounds emitting from her similar to that she reckoned, of a crazed animal. She hated being so vulnerable, so exposed, but in this moment she didn't care. She wanted to scream, she wanted to shout. She wanted to know what they had done to deserve this. Why him? Why her Peter?

She wished it was her lying in that hospital bed right now, she wished it was her facing an uncertain future, an unknown future. She would have taken a bullet for him. No hesitation. She'd die for him.

What was he even doing in the Rovers anyway? Why, why hadn't he just come straight to no 1, like they'd arranged.

These questions swirled around her mind, on repeat, like a broken record. Why? Why? Why?

The steady rhythm of the 'bleep, bleep, bleep' emitting from the machines penetrated her thoughts. The only sign, that he was alive, which to her was comforting. whilst they were doing their job, there was hope, there had to be hope.

She stared straight ahead of her, her once vibrant green eyes now having lost their sparkle, and brimming with unshed tears. She tried to speak, the words catching in her throat.

'Baby' she finally managed, trying to compose herself. She had to speak to him, she had always heard that hearing a familiar voice could help bring a patient out of a coma. It had to be worth a try.

'I have to say, I know my cooking is extremely questionable, but to get yourself shot to get out of eating my turkey was a little extreme, even for you, eh?'

She managed a weak laugh.

'What was it? A tossup between my food, and the hospital's, and you decided this would be the safest option, is that it?'

No response, but she continued anyway.

'I guess I don't blame you...always the risk you would've ended up here with food poisoning, huh. So yeah, safest option. We really gotta stop meeting like this though, us ending up in hospital is ending up a bit too regular for my liking now, Mr.'

Nothing.

'What were you doing baby? Where did you go after you left Roy's.. I know you were going to nip over to see Simon, cos he was going to spend Christmas with Leanne and nick.' She paused

'I know, I know that was hard for you'

'This morning at Roy's was beautiful, wasn't it? Waking up together, Christmas morning, our first Christmas as a proper family. Tough without Shenade, I know...but being with you, that was perfect'.

She sighed, her breath hitching in her throat, thinking back to the morning they had spent together, how he had woken her with a lingering, soft gentle kiss, how he had wished her a merry Christmas, his voice thick with sleep, yet gentle, soft, soothing. How they had struggled, and failed not to overcome the overwhelming desire they had felt for each other, trying to be as quiet as they could so as not to disturb Roy, the fact that they did not have a place of their own becoming more of an issue now, something she wanted to look at sorting in the new year.

They had stayed, wrapped in each other, savouring every moment. They were looking forward to exchanging gifts, Carla desperate to know what Peter's gift to her was, he had given her no clue, no hints, and had been very secretive.

Eventually

The moment had to be broken, Carla heading downstairs, to make a coffee, and Peter getting ready to see Simon. He had given her a kiss before heading out, telling her he loved her and he would see her at no 1 later, for the momentous occasion, that was the turkey. He had told her it would be the best Christmas ever, but how wrong he was.

He had one more thing to do after seeing Simon, one very important thing. He needed to pay a small visit to the Rovers, a visit which, Carla knew nothing about.

He smiled to himself. He was going to ask for Johnny's blessing to ask Carla to marry him. He was not normally a traditionalist, but he wanted to do everything right. He wanted everything to be perfect.

Of course, she had a secret gift for him too, she was carrying a secret of her own, literally, one that she had been planning on sharing with Peter today.

She placed a hand, protectively on her stomach, instinct kicking in. if she couldn't be strong for herself, she had to be strong for the little life she was now carrying inside her.

It had been a shock, she had never expected she could ever get pregnant again. She didn't really know how she felt at first, she knew Peter wanted another child. Seeing him with Bertie had only strengthened that need. She loved seeing him with Bertie, how protective, gentle, and caring he was. She loved watching them together when he was unaware, the sight of them bringing the widest of smiles to her face. She'd told peter she had too much baggage, that smelling of baby sick and having someone hang off her boob was the least on her agenda, when he had put the idea to her. She knew of course that that was just a mask, that she was terrified of anything else going wrong and, that she felt she hadn't truly grieved or, accepted that she wasn't to blame for the death of her little girl.

She knew she would have to make contact with Scott come the new year, that her medication would have to be reviewed, and possibly measures put in place because of her psychosis. She had no idea what any of this entailed yet, but she had just been coming to terms with the news, and starting to enjoy it like any other mother.

She had no interest in other people's babies really. she had enjoyed looking after Bertie, more than she would let on, and now that she had got her head around the fact that, Peter and herself had created this little life, she had been excited for the future.

Perhaps she should've known better, because where does hoping for the future get you, anyway?

So, she had been planning on telling him, today. She couldn't wait to see the look on his face. Now she may never get that. No, she would, because if he wasn't going to make it for her, he would need to make it for their little baby.

'Baby, you have to wake up' she tried again. 'When you do, we'll have our own Christmas, eh? Our own celebrations. We have a lot to celebrate. I know the doctors are being negative right now, but they don't know you like I do, do they, darlin'?. They don't know the strong, coragious, brave, incredible man, with the fighting spirit that I do. The man who would do anything for his family. The man who, literally saved my life, the man who, stuck by me through the darkest time in my world, when no-one else did. The man who now continues to protect me, to make sure I'm ok, who reminds me what I have to lose when not having to rely on medication seems like such a tempting option. we've made it through this year, sometimes i don't know how, but we have.' She let the tears freely fall down her face. 'I wouldn't even be here today if it wasn't for you, you know that, don't you, Peter Barlow...' she said, clasping Peter's hand gently in her own, frightened he would dissolve if she as much as touched him, but at the same time craving his touch. 'I love you, i love you, i love you, and that's why you have to get through this. I can't survive without you, I can't'

And then she broke down, completely. She didn't care who saw, who heard. It was becoming too much now, the pent up anger, frustration, terror and sadness becoming too overwhelming to control. Her body wracked with sobs, til she didn't think she had anymore tears to cry.

'I'm sorry,' she managed when she composed herself somewhat.

'i know you wouldn't judge me though...wouldn't want anyone else to see that though eh, still have my reputation, even if it is a bit in tatters. I know Christmas is a time for surprises but darlin' this wasn't the kind of surprise I was hoping for.' She sighed

'There's one more thing, too. If you don't feel like you can wake up for me right now, that's ok... I'm not going anywhere.. like I said, we have a lot to celebrate. See, you know how you've hinted you've wanted us to try for a baby, don't deny it, I know your subtle hints...well, your wish has been granted. Darlin', you're going to be a daddy..I know, it's a shock, isn't it. It came a shock to me too, but it's the good kind though, right?. We are going to have our own little family, and I'm so happy, because there's no other man that I'd want to have children with. I know, my moods are going to be up and down, I know I'm going to need a lot of reassurance. But it's ok, because we'll both be there to catch each other. I didn't believe it at first. I've done the test, well several to be precise...and they all show the same result...baby, I'm pregnant'


End file.
